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I have been asked to write a blog.
I’ve never written one before.
What shall I blog about?
Well…… let me think!

I am a 59 year old male. I am a British Asian. I am married.

I have a beautiful wife. I have been with her for 39 years. I am a father of two. I have five wonderful grandchildren. I own my own home. I have worked all my life. I lived in Scotland for 34 years. I moved to England 25 years ago. I have been a university student, a policeman, a machine technician, a shift manager and at one time owned a business.

Does this sound good? Is this pretty normal?

Oh yes… I remember now, I tried to end my life!

When? What happened? Why?

Well… it wasn’t once, nor twice, not three or even four times but five times….. in one year! In 2016.

I don’t know what happened, and I don’t know why. I keep asking myself why, but I don’t know.

The truth is I had a mental breakdown. I was broken. I was in a mind maze. There were no exits. No escape. I was trapped. The journey started there… I had to be mended. I needed repairing. I had to find the key to escape the mind maze.

Step 1: Doctor
Step 2: Mental Health Nurse
Step 3: CBT
Step 4: Crisis Teams
Step 5: Ambulance and Police
Step 6: Hospital
Step 7: Occupational Health
Step 8: Mindfulness and meditation
Step 9: Discharge
Step 10: Community Mental Health Involvement

All of this with the medication that matched, eventually!

Next steps:

Vigilance, family, GP, Community Mental Health Nurse, Vigilance.
Social Inclusion Team introduction.
Volunteering opportunity.

2gether gave me the opportunities:

Recovery College ……student….again.

Adult Education…..brilliant….student again

I am now a Peer Trainer. I am very involved as a volunteer for 2gether, time for me to pay back. This is my gratitude. Thanks for saving my life 2gether NHS.

I am moving on.

Self Harm isn’t a solution. Don’t even think about it.

Live long, life is a journey. A fascinating one!

My name is Bill and I am an Expert by Lived Experience.


If you need support, speak to someone. Contact your GP or call one of the helplines below –

Samaritans – 116 123
Papyrus HOPELineUK – 0800 068 4141
If you are in Gloucestershire, the Self Harm Helpline – 0808 801 0606
The Silver Line (for over 55s) – 0800 470 8090